Thursday, January 11, 2007

i'm feeling fergalicious.

In an effort to anty-up with all the boys embarking on their young man-ventures lately, I'd like to again gush about the fact that I'm moving to Portland.

Sure. You have a story. A really freaking GREAT story. And I'm jealous. The settings vary: Korea. Prague. The Apalachian Trail. Cross-country road trips. Cross-country bike trips. Crossroads. Fandango.

You travel alone, free. (Who would wanna 'R' you?) Or with friends. Or you make them along the way.

You hop trains. Your work on your thesis. You buy beer for homeless men and shake their hands, introduce them to your friends.

And I love you guys. Have nothing but love for you guys.

But hang on a sec, white boy. I get a story TOO.

I'm moving to Portland.
And I'm going to talk to strangers about cats and gay marriage.

I'm going to go to art shows and make eye contact with underweight boys.

I will find a job that may or may not have anything to do with my college degree.

I will go to parties and come home thinking deeply about life.

I will eat some kind of middle eastern food and then put that middle eastern food item under "interests" on my MySpace page.

I will wear less makeup and have an opinion about my wearing less makeup.

I will camp. I will climb things. I will be well-informed.

I will write in my JOURNAL and read JD SALINGER BOOKS and listen to my iPod in the RAIN!

I will live a COMEDY and a TRAGEDY and A LOVE STORY!
An EPIC! And unlike your story, my story will contain parts about my MENSTRUAL CYCLE!

That's right. I'm moving to Portland muthafuggas. Eat your endearing little heart out Zach Braff.


At 4:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The best of luck on your journey. Oregon will be gaining a valuable citizen.

-ben the mihovk

“I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.”

At 10:39 AM, Blogger 11:11 said...

Hey what about Oprah? How come you never mention Oprah or any of Oprah's friends. Last time I checked Oprah was my favorite sceret shameful activity and last time I checked you and I were related. What about Oprah?

OPRAH! She's on! 3:00 every day, Oprah is.

At 1:31 AM, Blogger Keef said...

I think I speak for most of my fellow man-venturers in saying that my travels are just an extension of my penis.



At 8:30 PM, Anonymous sarah ann said...

godspeed, sweet girl.

At 5:01 PM, Blogger r-fresh said...

I spar-kickboxed a shaolin monk yesterday. Last night I made love to a non-hibernating black bear from France. Today I shared a beer and an uncomfortable laughe with a donkey hunter from Mongolia. Later I realized he had poisened me, I went into cardiac arrest, went to the Castle of the Prague Gollum and threw myself off onto the cobblestone below, succesfully charging my heart back into a normal beating pattern. Then I smoked a cigarette and informed a spicey Spanish tourist that, "Yes, You may buy me dinner, and no you will never forget me." You too, will do similar things in life. I know you will. Travel on, and grab the biggie smalls of living.

At 9:37 PM, Blogger kdub said...

You'll curse the rain and then curse people who curse the rain because they're wimps and shouldn't bitch about what they signed up for (....while secretly continuing cursing the rain in the privacy of your own sunny mind.)

At 3:02 AM, Blogger JASON MASHAK said...

shoot me an email: jason[dot]mashak[at]gmail[dot]com

i'll connect you with my fantabulous friend Joyce, who lives off alberta st, about two blocks from where you'll be living. wonderful poet, mother, accordian player, lover.

At 12:20 PM, Anonymous DADAH said...

I can't wait to see what what happens next. All part of the adventure!!! God Bless you Annie.


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