Best Imitation of Myself

today.

2008-03-06T17:12:00.001-08:00

Ten years ago today, I was supposed to go to a movie. It was March of 1998, so chances are Anna, Jill, Jodi and I were planning on seeing The Wedding Singer. We were freshmen, so we would have to get to East Park by way of someone’s mom or Alexis Wissing’s Montero.

But in the middle of ironing out those plans, something else happened. And instead of heading to the theater, we got together with the rest of our classmates and headed towards Lincoln General Hospital.

It’s been a decade since the accident that nearly took Megan’s life. A decade since I witnessed the miraculous power of faith, hope, love and community. A decade since my friendship with Megan began to blossom into one of the best, most life-, love- and laughter-giving relationships a human being can hope for.

I’m so glad you’re here. On this earth, in my life, and always, always in my heart.

You are my sunshine Megs!

my new favorite gay.

2008-01-03T11:43:00.000-08:00

There was a time in my life, if you'll remember, that I lead a rather isolated existence on the Colville Indian Reservation. It was Central Washington. 2005-2006. My JVC year.

And during that time, while I gained a broadened sense of cultural awareness, a deepened spirituality, an appreciation for nature's wilderness, and a surprising affinity for scrapbooking and Dairy Queen, I lost some things too.

Collegiate social drinking opportunities.
A rodent-free lifestyle.
Even my sanity on occasion.

But there was one loss in particular that really shook me to my core. One loss that couldn't be supplemented with prayer or meditation or even satellite television.

I lost access to my gays.

And when you lose your gays, you very nearly lose your life.

I was spared by quarterly visits from Greg, the Reading Program Specialist from San Fransisco with the buttery voice and equally buttery elbow-length locks. But were it not for his periodic visits to discuss phonics and Targeted Treasure Hunts, I may have asphyxiated on my Pegler-Sysco chicken nuggets. He came like manna in the desert, as if from the sky, just when I needed him most.

But what would happen if I found myself in that situation again? How would I cope? How could I prepare? Would I be able to survive the next time around?

Well, luckily, I need not fear the gayless terror of the night. Nor the gayless arrow that flies by day. Because armed with internet access and a steadfast dose of flamboyance, I have seen the light. And that light is "What the Buck".

So even if I end up on some Brokeback-esk ranch in the middle of America, or even if Camilo goes back to Spain and doesn't call me for months at a time, or even if my ultra-hetero male co-workers subject me to droning details of tired Budweiser commercials and Oregon Ducks stats, I will survive.

Neh, I will thrive.

Michael Buckley? You are my new favorite gay.

linguistics.

2008-01-02T13:57:00.000-08:00

Vogue. Postsecret. Even the Word of God.

All now in kitteh speak. Layers upon layers.

Not sure you speak the kitteh? You can has tranzlashun.

LOLcats iz in mai head. Takin up brane cellz.

Kthanxbai.

should old acquaintance be forgot...

2007-12-31T16:46:00.000-08:00

A look back at 2007. In pictures! What an amazing year.

Much love, warmth, peace and happiness.
I am so grateful!

Happy New Year Everybody!

december.

2007-12-31T16:45:00.004-08:00

november.

2007-12-31T16:45:00.003-08:00

october.

2007-12-31T16:45:00.001-08:00

september.

2007-12-31T16:44:00.001-08:00

august.

2007-12-31T16:43:00.000-08:00

july.

2007-12-31T16:36:00.000-08:00

june.

2007-12-31T16:35:00.001-08:00

may.

2007-12-31T16:34:00.003-08:00

april.

2007-12-31T16:34:00.001-08:00

march.

2007-12-31T16:32:00.001-08:00

february.

2007-12-31T16:31:00.000-08:00

january.

2007-12-31T16:29:00.000-08:00

1, 2, 3, 4. tell me that you love me more.

2007-12-19T09:25:00.000-08:00

If you don't immediately recognize these faces, fear not. You will soon.

Because I have a feeling that going on tour with Will Ferrell will help the rest of the universe realize that these are three of the funniest motherfuckers on the planet.

this is your brain on drugs.

2007-12-14T14:00:00.000-08:00

My new favorite advise column.

ahem.

2007-12-13T11:53:00.000-08:00

I'd like to add Glo Worm Kitties to my Christmas list. Please and thank you.

live (and in person) from new york!

2007-12-06T10:46:00.000-08:00

I have a new favorite story from the good problem that is the ongoing WGA strike. It's such a good story in fact, that I'm gnawing on my fists and feel like my chest is burning with the fire of a thousand suns.

If I could ever pick a day, I would relive November 17th in New York City. I would relive it so hard.

all i want for christmas.

2007-12-05T19:23:00.001-08:00

Inspired by Eric, and just because it's fun, here are a few items from my Christmas list.

And please, friends and family, leave your OWN wish lists in the comments!

Here we go:

Arrested Development DVD
30 Rock DVD
Flight of the Conchords DVD
Strangers With Candy DVD
Superbad DVD
Variety Shac DVD
Sesame Street Old School DVD

Franny and Zooey by JD Salinger (hardback)
The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr. and EB White (hardback)
I Am America And So Can You by Steven Colbert

A subscription to Bust magazine

A Black and Decker cordless power drill/driver

A piece of artwork from Joey Lynch, Jake Gillespie or John Bruggeman

Nag Champa

Aveda Scalp Benefits shampoo and conditioner

Cute and colorful socks, underwear and tights

An iPod Classic

Galoshes

Oceane Eau de Toilette

Target, Borders and Starbucks giftcards

Coffee, tea and a mug from the Mill

Artsy fartsy t-shirts and jewelry

Mix CDs, soul and funk music, and any other music you think I might fancy

A massage

Trips to New York, Chicago and LA. (Preferably post-writer's strike. [EDIT: Maybe not? Apparently some legendary shit can go down in the midst of a strike!])

Egg bake in the morning, tall boys in the evening and, most importantly, periodic love and laughter to be shared with my ever-loving, ever-amazing, hometown friends and family.

Home sweet home. Can't wait!

let me count the ways.

2007-12-05T17:46:00.000-08:00

Look at this face. What do you see? Look at it dad! What do you see? What do you see? Say it. Say it!

I, uh... It's a face!

Yeah but what kind of face?

A pale... pasty... psychotic...

No Dad! It's a neatly-chiseled, well-groomed, drop dead handsome face!

Indeed it is.

Oh Michael.

Your Rivers Cuomo-inspired grandpa sweater and choice of reading material put me over the edge this week. Damn. The reasons just keep piling up!

I think in a past life we used to share pink Starbursts and sneak into 'R' rated movies together.

I think in this life we are destined to hold clammy hands and eat peanut butter toast together.

And maybe, someday, pose in an excruciatingly cute Gap ad together.

If you squint, you can just make out the squishy, endearing, 25-year-old man that will inevitably emerge to take me out for Thai food and laser tag. Someday. Someday.

5-Alive!

2007-11-30T10:06:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Adeline!
I miss you like crazy and can't wait to squeeze you!

Love,
Aunt Annie

three cheers!

2007-11-28T17:21:00.000-08:00

To real girls, and the real boys who date them. Slancha!

my love/hate relationship.

2007-11-16T17:15:00.000-08:00

The Gap is retarded.
I know this because I shop there all the fucking time.

For as long as I can remember they have been the number one source for my basic, All-American fashion needs. Jeans! Shirts! Sweaters! Coats! Flip Flops! Tank Tops! Scarves! MUST HAVES!

And especially lately, I've grown to loath their lack of variety, their acne-enhancing dressing room lighting, and their inconsistent sizing.

But every holiday season, soft, brightly colored and/or stripey things appear in the display windows and I'm drawn like a moth to a flame. No matter how hard I try, no matter how identical current stripey merchandise is to the stripey merchandise of Christmas 1999, I consistently "fall into the Gap" again and again. Year after year. Discounted stocking cap after discounted stocking cap.

I thought I would be able to resist this time. After all, I live in a major metropolitan city now! I have more to choose from than just the vendors of South Point Pavilions and Westfield Shoppingtown Gateway! Plus, most of my friends' wardrobes are compiled of treasures they found in "free" boxes on the side of the road. Portland chic. My fashion consumption standards are shifting.

But dammit if those marketing gurus don't know their shit. Emotionally manipulative bastards! They cut me to core this time. How do they do that? HOW?!

Walking through the mall after lunch to avoid the rain, two twelve foot posters came into my line of vision. I came closer. The images towered over me. I'm pretty sure I started ovulating right then and there.

Before me stood the unbearable cuteness of my all-time favorite celebrity couple. My comedic heroes. The perfect pair prototype. Next to them stood my current celebrity fantasy cuddle partner. All of them fresh-faced. Smiling coyly. Hawking soft, brightly colored, stripey things.

I mean, Jesus Christ. I get excited when any of these folks so much as appear in an inset photo on the 92nd page of an obscure magazine. And here they were, towering over the patrons of the Pioneer Place Mall as they shuffled off the escalators. How could you not be in love with them all?

How could you not want to meet up with these two downtown for a few whiskey sours? How could you not be excited about seeing them at the after hours gathering, dancing to Christmas In Hollis, popping rum balls and throwing back tall boys?

How could you not want to take this young gentleman to your best friend's ugly Christmas sweater party? How could you not want to stick your cold, wind-chapped cheeks into the welcoming warmth of his pea coat panel embrace? How could you not want to do things with him under the mistletoe for 12 hours or so?

How could you not want to buy the scarves and sweaters these people endorse?

25 years ago today, someone gave birth...

2007-11-13T13:56:00.000-08:00

...to the one and only Miss Catherine Monahan!

And I'm so happy they did.
(Shout out to Jean!)

Happy Birthday Kitten!
Miss you madly and hope you have a great day!

check out these sweet kicks.

2007-11-13T13:25:00.000-08:00

You guys.
NIKEiD is so bad ass.

It gives me the same sense of consumeristic giddiness I used to get when the eight pound JC Penny Catalog arrived.

Also bad ass? TWEED. On a sneaker.

Love it.

it's a shame.

2007-11-06T11:01:00.000-08:00

I am a full-fledged supporter of the Writer's Guild strike that's going down, but I must say, when stupid (and despicable) shit like this goes down, it really makes me hope this strike ends quickly. It's going to be hard to let things like this fade into historic ambiguity without any poignant and well-deserved jabs from the funny press.

And I know everyone jokes about getting their news from the 'fake' news, but sometimes that comedic commentary is the most relevant (and therefore, necessary) social commentary available to the masses. It puts everything out there for what it is - good, bad and/or ugly. Plus, when world events start the make your blood boil, laughing lowers your blood-pressure.

I can only imagine that the writers at The Daily Show and the Colbert Report (not to mention all programs that rely on current events and cultural relevancy) are itching like crazy right now to say some things of significance.

not to git all political on yer arses but...

2007-10-17T13:52:00.000-07:00

How many more poor decisions can our current president make? For the love of Pete...

the good life.

2007-10-04T09:26:00.000-07:00

Nebraska! I'm coming!
And Megan's getting hitched!
Smiles and hugs.

and now, on the serious tip...

2007-10-01T19:20:00.000-07:00

The latest from the Dove campaign for Real Beauty.

you can deny the holocaust all you want. but you can't deny that there's something between us.

2007-10-01T19:18:00.000-07:00

Straight trippin' boo.

paranoid android.

2007-08-22T11:08:00.000-07:00

I realize that this may come across as grim, conspiracy theorist, crazy talk. But I was recently informed that the U.S. Joint Forces Command is currently performing an emergency management exercise here in Portland, epically titled "Noble Resolve". And this is freaking some people out. Maybe for good reason?

Haven't any U.S. officials seen the cinematic gem Wargames (starring the youthful and captivating Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy)? I mean, Christ. It's one of AFI's top 100 sci-fi movies of all time! Did that film teach us nothing?

Jokes aside, I actual felt slightly threatened upon gathering this information. Maybe I'm crazy! I have no fully formed opinions, but I do have a lot of questions and an open mind. I'm trying not to think about it too hard, but it has made me uncomfortable enough that I thought I should at least mention the matter in the blogosphere.

If this all leaves you feeling a bit too heavy, icky and full of doom and gloom on a beautiful Wednesday afternoon, might I suggest watching the following videos? I find that kitties, Michael Cera, and nonsensical rap performances are all quite spirit lifting if the need should arise!

Daddy-o.

2007-08-20T08:11:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Daduuuuuh!
Miss you and love you!

Lordy, Lordy!

2007-08-07T11:26:00.001-07:00

Look who's 40!
Happy Birthday BROSEPH!

Homeboy, throw in the towel.Your girl got dicked by Ricky Powell.

2007-08-03T10:13:00.000-07:00

So last night, while meandering downtown after work in search of art and beer and lovely people, I wandered into Portland's Upper Playground where I happened to meet a charming young fellow by the name of Ricky Powell.

Maybe you've heard of him!

Slightly legendary street and hip-hop photographer?
The designated "fourth Beastie Boy"?

While Rappin' with the Rickster I learned that he's got a firm handshake, a lovely smile, a captivating demeanor and an appreciation of the all-you-can-eat buffet.

Oh word!

i'm on the internetz!

2007-07-31T11:15:00.000-07:00

I just set up a vimeo account to share with the world my life. Or at least the completely random video clips that semi-accurately represent my life.

Jenny Shampoozles came to visit me in May.
We had fun. Tons of it!

with my fist held high i say...

2007-07-20T16:35:00.000-07:00

Viva La Revolucion!

A promising perspective on women's magazines. And the world.

listen when i tell you dog.

2007-07-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

Check it out! Sidney is featured in this enthralling Lincoln Journal Star story about puppies and fireworks. My dog is such a media DARLING!

And look how nice our backyard looks. Great job dad!

god shed his grace on thee.

2007-06-29T14:21:00.001-07:00

Welcome back to AMERICA bro-bro!
Can't wait to see you!

we're gonna go to target to get a fun island!

2007-06-29T14:07:00.000-07:00

Hey all!
Happy Friday!
To celebrate, please enjoy this comedic gem from no-coaster/Duluthian Maria Bamford - my new favorite.

maximum fun.

2007-06-28T14:17:00.000-07:00

So. Friends.
I realize it's been awhile. I have lots to share with you all.

But before I forget, there's been some fabulous finds on the ol' internet lately that I feel must be mentioned promptly.

First off, I just discovered this radio program called The Sound of Young America. Judging from some of the interviews, program descriptions, music and what I've heard so far, this has a very good chance of becoming my newest favorite thing. Check it out. It just may become yours too.

Secondly. if you have a few extra minutes today and want to spend them laughing really hard and/or feeling like you are on drugs, enjoy the following:

Jason Bateman and Alyssa Milano host Nintendo-sponsored Ice Capades. Special Guest - Mr. Belvedere!

Johnny Depp Vs. Extremely Entertaining Japanese Kids.

Personal update and pictures coming soon! Promise.

my didactic approach.

2007-03-12T11:41:00.000-07:00

Since becoming a Portland resident, I have notably expanded my vocabulary.

Now I get to use words like "gentrification" and "batshit crazy". Sometimes in the same sentence!

Ain't life sweet?

ersome.

2007-03-04T00:06:00.000-08:00

Hey.
Guess what?
I'm going to see the Beastie Boys.

Ha. Ha!
Seriously!
In the most amazing outdoor venue in the country.
Oh yeah, and Bjork is coming too. And some other people. Aint no thang.

I bought tickets to Sasquatch! And the BEASTIE BOYS are headlining...WHAT!?! I never thought this day would come...

Some other great things I acquired this week:

- A job.
- A new kick-awesome apartment on trendy-third.
- A BED. That I don't have to share and that is really plush and should have been expensive but WASNT.

The Portland gods are smiling upon me today.

And oh yes. Go Bluejays.

it's the small things.

2007-03-02T08:19:00.000-08:00

I live in a town that plays Bjork on the radio! On a morning show!

go team!

2007-02-23T16:54:00.000-08:00

what i did today

2007-02-22T16:19:00.000-08:00

creative brain fart.

2007-02-13T16:07:00.000-08:00

Every sugar rush has it's inevitable crash.

I think it's nap time for me.

On one hand, this city's got loads of inspirational and creative opportunity around every corner.

On the other hand, it's like the whole town has a monopoly on public opinion and social commentary.

It's all been done already. And it's all been done by people who own feminist bookstores and start bike gangs and eat homemade curry lentils and screen print their own goddamned t-shirts and know a shit load more about fair trade then I ever will.

I can't even find an outfit I like anymore.

It's fucking exhausting.

Does anyone else ever just feel like giving up and working at the bank?

Jeeeeeze...

when you talk, it's so beautiful. it's like you're pukin' up rainbows.

2007-02-11T19:35:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday, after too many Kokanees in a sketch, North Portland dive, I got to catch the tail end of a fresh Saturday Night Live.

I busted a gut multiple times, and felt compelled to at least mention it.

This skit in particular made me laugh enough that I drooled on the carpet.

Also, seeing Amy Poehler as a man reminded me of this little gem of an article from back in the day.

I get so excited about smart women making good comedy! Belushi just might be rolling in his grave these days...

Unfortunately I couldnt find a clip of the Firestarter Brand Smoked Sausages skit. I couldn't breath I was laughing so hard.

A jointless finger made of pork!

pot o' luck.

2007-02-11T18:33:00.000-08:00

We had a party!
I ate Etheopian food!
And dip! Chips and dip!

i can't stop thinking about ninjas.

2007-02-10T16:09:00.000-08:00

Friends, the early 90's are officially cool again.

I'm excited for the inevitable Pizza Hut merchandise.

Stay in School Jam!

Sisters of the Road

2007-02-09T14:21:00.000-08:00

I’m not even sure where to begin exactly. I’ve never felt quite so fiercely like I could, with such unwavering certainty, do anything I’ve ever wanted to do. Does this town do this to everyone?

Oregon Trail 2007! Here are some pictures from the road, and some from our first days in Portland.

Martha's brother's band, The Clean Prophets, was in town at the begining of the week and showed us quite a good time. And I had a birthday too!

We've already reconnected with old friends and aquaintances, and are having such great interactions with potential new ones.

Thanks Dad for helping me get set up and settled. Thanks Katie and Eric for the hospitality along the way.

I miss everyone and am having an amazing time, but fearfully starting the job hunt. Wish me luck!

And come visit!

kit kat and caboodle.

2007-01-20T10:27:00.000-08:00

Among a number of rediculous things that I love this week:

-John Mayer blogging about Grey's Anatomy. And the fact that I just read John Mayer's blog. Thanks Catherine.

-Going to YouTube and searching for "cute kittens" or "funny cats". I've decided to start doing this at the begining of each day, in order to get things off on the right foot. It's unmatched. If people start doing this, we won't ever have to take happy drugs.

Cats on the internet are so hot right now!

the after life.

2007-01-16T23:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when I get really excited about something, or bummed about something I missed out on that would've been awesome, I think about how kick ass heaven is going to be.

For example, today I was thinking about eating at the Legion Club after church, and how I won't ever get to do that again. Then I decided heaven will have a giant coat room to play in, full of the big, soft, tan and navy coats of American veterans and their wives. Heaven will also have tiny boxed cereals. And mini quiche. And bacon.

I also decided that heaven will be like a Beastie Boys concert where the beer costs a quarter. I know what you must be thinking. "If it's heaven, why isn't the beer free and why doesn't it just materialize in your hand when you want one?" Because. Think of all the cool people you'll meet in line!

Heaven will also have a trampoline room, a zip line into a swimming pool, and spontaneous real time, real life freeze frames.

i'm feeling fergalicious.

2007-01-11T00:05:00.000-08:00

In an effort to anty-up with all the boys embarking on their young man-ventures lately, I'd like to again gush about the fact that I'm moving to Portland.

Sure. You have a story. A really freaking GREAT story. And I'm jealous. The settings vary: Korea. Prague. The Apalachian Trail. Cross-country road trips. Cross-country bike trips. Crossroads. Fandango.

You travel alone, free. (Who would wanna 'R' you?) Or with friends. Or you make them along the way.

You hop trains. Your work on your thesis. You buy beer for homeless men and shake their hands, introduce them to your friends.

And I love you guys. Have nothing but love for you guys.

But hang on a sec, white boy. I get a story TOO.

I'm moving to Portland.
And I'm going to talk to strangers about cats and gay marriage.

I'm going to go to art shows and make eye contact with underweight boys.

I will find a job that may or may not have anything to do with my college degree.

I will go to parties and come home thinking deeply about life.

I will eat some kind of middle eastern food and then put that middle eastern food item under "interests" on my MySpace page.

I will wear less makeup and have an opinion about my wearing less makeup.

I will camp. I will climb things. I will be well-informed.

I will write in my JOURNAL and read JD SALINGER BOOKS and listen to my iPod in the RAIN!

I will live a COMEDY and a TRAGEDY and A LOVE STORY!
An EPIC! And unlike your story, my story will contain parts about my MENSTRUAL CYCLE!

That's right. I'm moving to Portland muthafuggas. Eat your endearing little heart out Zach Braff.

2007-01-03T21:47:00.000-08:00

Impossible is the Opposite of Possible

crying laughing.

no one reads my blog!

2006-12-28T22:45:00.000-08:00

Haha.

I watched The Proud Family tonight and almost cried.

Yes. I said The Proud Family - a Disney Channel Original Series. YOU KNOW!

It's an Afro American-ish comedy cartoon, with a whole slew of loveable characters, including one named Dijonay. Like the combination mayonaise and mustard that Kraft makes.

I decided to start watching tonight after Law and Order reruns got too heavy. So it's about your average, All-American black family, their friends and neighbors, making it in the day to day, living and learning and all that jazz. It comes with the standard crazy grandma that tells it how it is, and even has this slightly Rick James-ish, uncle-ish, side-kick character that always wears a track suit, holds a microphone, and speaks in a sing-song Andre 3000 goof voice about what's going on. Like "I just ate the whole bird and now I need some ANT-ASS-SIIIIIIID!" It's effing awesome. I laughed hard. And not just cuz I'm tired. Cuz it's funny. I don't know if kids who watch the Disney channel think it's awesome, because I feel like its awesomeness might be over their little Hannah Montana heads, but I think it's awesome, and that's all that matters.

Anyways, the point is I LEARNED something from a cartoon tonight. That's right kids. I learned what KWANZA is all about. And shit man! It's not just for black people! I mean, it is, but it's full of some really amazing things that everybody should take to heart! How could you not want to supplement your Christmas with a holiday that celebrates Unity, Self-Determination, Collective Work and Responsibility, Cooperative Economics, Purpose, Creativity, and Faith?!

Baby Jesus, family togetherness, and gift giving are all great and wonderful things. But in the swamp of consumer driven poo-poo and the stress of creating perfect moments, what a solid, uplifting, organic, grounding, genuine, life-giving little tid-bit! Cooperative economics?! I love it! And any spiritual celebration that recognizes CREATIVITY as an essential part of the human process...amazing. Purpose? Togetherness? Faith? UNITY? Everything great and beautiful and essential to life is covered. It's like the dull pang of emptiness we all feel a little bit post-Christmas can be remedied with the awesomeness of KWANZA! And it doesnt leave anyone out for not thinking a certain way or not having the resources to buy gifts. And I like that.

Damn. I'm sold. Those childrens' television writers know what they're doing.

2006-12-19T00:55:00.000-08:00

My Dick in a Box

i just want your extra time and your.....kiss.

2006-12-18T00:08:00.000-08:00

So religion is growing ever popular in the totally crazy ass famous people circles. And, as all famous people trends go, you want to take it all with a grain of salt. Or a shot of vodka. Or a handful of vicadin.

But then I was thinking about it, and I was like, Jeeze. You know, if Prince showed up on my doorstep, and told me I could live a better life as a witness of Jehovah, really, could he be so wrong? I mean, it's Prince. Who am I to argue with the man? THE man? If the editors of The Watchtower knew what was best for them, they'd put sexy/sexually ambiguous buttless pants shots of The Artist on the cover of every newsletter. If that won't win converts, i don't know what will.

Best compliment of the month comes from E.J. at tonight's Faint/Tilly and the Wall show. Upon seeing me and Kevin post-show in the parking lot, and after distributing obligitory E.J. hugs and kisses:
"You guys are like the Royal Tenenbaums..."

Thanks dude.

soy bomb.

2006-12-13T12:34:00.000-08:00

This is pretty hilarious, although I don't think it's supposed to be.

you can feel it all over!

2006-12-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

The question I've been trying to answer most since June is "So what are you doing these days?" or some variation there of. I'd shrug, smile, explain as briefly as I could, what I had done the year before, what I had been doing since then, and some of the many different things I was currently doing, giving more detail to some than others. Inevitably, to spice up my story at the end, when I could tell my listeners were getting bored, I'd throw in, "and I think I might be moving to Portland sometime!"

Truthfully, I was a little uncertain what the future held for me, and was afraid I might end up living at home, catering to the dining needs of Lincoln's pseudo rich and famous for the rest of my days. But it's official! I'm moving to Portland in mid-late January! And I have a place to sleep, eat, and shower when I get there! A house! And roommates to boot!

Once November hit, Martha and I realized we should probably start getting our shit together, reassured each other that we were both still in it to win it, and started scouring craigslist. To our surprise and delight, our already awesome JVC friends Julia and Bruce had just found a gorgeous, cheap, well-located abode in Northeast Portland, and were looking for two roommates. It couldnt have fell together more beautifully...

Merry Christmas to ME!

Currently:
Going to Omaha to holiday down with Catherine and friends.

Currently listening to:
Sir Duke. On reapeat. For the third day in a row.

Fun photo of the day:

stuff.

2006-12-05T17:12:00.000-08:00

I realize that my bloggings have been fairly sparse and lame as of late. But brevity is important in my life these days, as I am trying to accomplish a lot of shizzle (redecorating, portfolio developing, Portland job/house hunting, money making, disco breaking) in a little bit of time.

But I still like doing this thang, and find that writing regularly, on any subject, is something that makes me feel good. So here are some things about my life today. Condensed!

THE WORST THING I SAW TODAY:
Britney Spears' lady business.

THE BEST THING I HEARD TODAY:
Aceyalone's "Mooore" from "Magnificent City"

THE BEST THING I INGESTED TODAY:
A soymilk vanilla latte from the Mill, free, courtesy of
Miss Sarah Holmes.

BEST THING I READ TODAY:
An e-mail from the amazing Miss Catherine Monahan. She's throwin a shin-dig. An exerpt:

"And while we don't have an
overarching theme, feel free to choose your own.
A White Trash Christmas?
A Hobo Holiday?
One Last Christmas Sweater Party Before the Joke Gets Way Too Old to
Even Induce a Slight Chuckle?"

THING I'M MOST INTO TODAY:
Linking things on my blog, thanks to a short eblogger tutorial from bro-bro Patrick Wilkins.

2006-11-29T23:32:00.000-08:00

ok go

best. video. ever.

2006-11-13T22:28:00.000-08:00

FAITH HILL'S BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW

ha.hahaha.

woot!

2006-10-31T18:39:00.001-08:00

you know what I wish?

2006-10-30T18:57:00.000-08:00

I wish that that Bob Dylan song "Lay, Lady, Lay", was in fact called "Lady Elaine" and was about Lady Elaine Fairchilde. Laying across Bob Dylan's big brass bed.

That would be nice.

Ha.

A Tribute.

2006-10-29T11:20:00.000-08:00

I was just looking through some old pictures, and it made me hungry for a different kind of interaction with people. Specifically with boys. Maybe an interaction I havent been getting enough of lately. Like a vitamin deficiency.

I miss time spent with my boy friends. Boyfriends of the plutonic variety. Boys I can hang out with without having to censor myself. Boys who I can laugh with, wide-mouthed, without worrying about how I look in the process. Boys who don't make my hands sweaty.

Daniel. Matthew. Keith. DBK. Jordan. Tighe. Donica. Camilo. Pat. Steven. George. Alex. Brother Robbie. Etc. Etc.

Bros. I miss you! And I miss how real I am when you're around. Hope you are all well!

my sleep deprivation is starting to show.

2006-10-27T23:32:00.003-07:00

OH MY GOD!
Remember the song "Who got the Hooch"?!
FUCK YEAH YOU DO!

That's all. I just thought of that for no reason whatsoever, and it made laughter happen! You can't tell me that's a bad thing!

this is the shit i think about while I'm working...

2006-10-25T00:20:00.000-07:00

What do you think the wrap parties are like for Lifetime Original Movies?

Do you think everyone gets wasted and makes out with each other?

Or that they at least do some yager bombs and throw out high fives?

Or do you think they all just go out to the Olive Garden and order the unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks combo?

We'll have to ask Judith Light one of these days...

i'm taking a poop jangling seminar at Julliard...

2006-10-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

Last night in Lawrence, I got to see two comedic heroes of mine in action.

And afterwards, stumbled through a completely awkward meet and greet.

Yes, Mr. Michael Showalter and Mr. Michael Ian Black of The State and Stella fame, made a stop in the Midwest on their current standup comedy tour.

Catherine and I were hoping to catch a few beers with our new buddies after the show. Or maybe a cocktail or two. You know. Go to a bar. Or perhaps wind down in a more serene and intimate space. Like backstage. Or the Lawrence Holiday Inn. Or the back of their Hyundai Sonata.

We would have even settled for a brisk evening jaunt down Massachusetts Avenue. Meandering down the middle of the street with the Michaels, our hands in each others back pockets...

But it never seems to pan out quite the way it does in you head, does it?

Still.
It was totally awesome.

My cheeks still hurt.

Plus we got to hang out with Shelley and Monica!

Not bad for a Tuesday night.

here i go again on my own...

2006-10-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

Hi.
So it's been awhile.
The last time I wrote a legitimate entry, I was still excited about American Idol.
To think, I didnt even know about Project Runway yet!

Well, the times, they are a-changin'. In fact, an entire season has come and gone. But now that the leaves are falling and all the people I dig have found themselves spread out across the country (and world), I figure it's high time to start up my bloggings once again. But not before a thorough update!

Here's a sampling of my whereabouts since May, sandwiched between two slices of music festival.

There was Sasquatch, my last days on the 'res in Washington, the end of our JVC experience, a Wilkins family affair in Minnesota, a few reunions with my Creighton peeps, and what has come to be known as the Lincoln Summer Of Love 2006, which I was enduring/enjoying far too much (hot dogs, old style, kick ball, bike rides, regular outings till the break-a break-a dawn y'all) to take too many pictures. Then a Labor Day jaunt to Madison, and a legendary road trip to Austin for some more amazing music, amazing friends, and laughing spasms.

So since my hiatus, here are
a few highlights:
-A new baby niece.
-Handfuls of new friends.
-Hot dogs.
-Clean closets.
-Meeting about 22 people with a derivitive of the name Andrew living in Lincoln, and being smitten, albiet ever-so-briefly, by two of them.
-"Do You Realize" permormed live.
-Jen Champoux.

A few lowlights:
-Post Reservation culture shock.
-Sweating.
-An unhealthy addiction to MySpace.
-Post-graduate confusion.
-Saying some tearful goodbyes to our family pediatrician Dr. Shriner, our family friend Kevin Colleran, and our family cat Ernie.

I also would like to extend a celebratory congrats to two of my besties. Shelley's got a Mini-Me on the way, and Catmo's got a rock on her finger. I can't think of two more amazing people to take the first big steps into adulthood so I don't have to. To those about to rock, we salute you. Seriously, I love you both so much and am so happy for you!

And big ups to my bro-bro doing his thang in Prague. I'm jealous.

Anywho. I promise to eventually post some beautiful pictures to accompany this post. And to get a bit more regular with the updates. But for now, I bid you adieu.

I've got a date at Barnes & Noble.

so fresh and so clean clean.

2006-09-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

I realize this is a pathetic return to the blogging world after more than a summer long hiatus. But I felt it was important to share with you all, that earlier this evening, I personally extracted my own tonsilloliths with a number of Q-tips and my mom's lighted makeup mirror. It was deeply satisfying, in a way I'm not sure I can accurately describe. I am officially well. Thank you. Thank you very much.

2006-08-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

Today is the one year anniversary of Becca's last day on earth.
Keep my bro, Adeline, Becca's parents, siblings, and friends in mind and heart.
Live and love BIG!

You know what today is?

2006-06-02T20:32:00.000-07:00

MEGAN'S BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday BFF! I can't wait to see you! Save the jalapenos on your tacha for me. If you know what I mean.

Ha! Wouldnt that be a great inuendo? Yeah. The "jalapenos on my tacha".

Hope you are having a fabulous day!

Idol.

2006-05-25T08:35:00.000-07:00

I'm not one to go ga-ga over a mainstream American cultural phenomenon. But HOLY CRAP, did you guys SEE American Idol last night?!?!?!

I flipped out.

That was a truly great and entertaining piece of television. Big and bright and just cheesy enough to be totally kick ass.

A Burt Backarack medley, Meatloaf, Dion Warwick, a vaclempt David Hasselhoff. I mean World's Sexiest Vegetarian Prince was there, for Christ's sake! Gyrating and squeak-moaning in all his soulful, purple glory.

I literally started jumping up and down in my kitchen during his performance. That was so effing awesome. Minnesota.

And I'm slightly embarrassed by this, but truthfully, I think I swooned a little when Clay Aiken came out to surprise everyone. And yeah, it made me feel kind of like a lesbian.

But look at his gorgeous HAIR!

I'm not embarrassed to admit, however, that I have the McPheever. Katherine is a stone fox. I wish I had her boobies.

So last night gets a high five for entertainment value from me, on nearly every level. It was like a variety show circus for the new millennium. Slightly embarrassing, completely redonkulous, yet TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY AWESOME.

Soul Patrol, America. Soul Patrol.

Happy Birthday Momma!

2006-05-23T19:09:00.000-07:00

I love you!

Snoop Bloggy Blog.

2006-05-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

It was another weekend for the record boooks.
The Spokane kids came out to visit!
Here are some pictures.

Friday evening we watched two bambies come into the world, right in between the two trailers. Amazing!
Saturday afternoon at Omak lake.
DENIM!
Karaoke night at the good 'ol Tamarack.
"Damn! I wish I was your lover!"
Carousing with the locals.

dude.

2006-05-17T12:53:00.000-07:00

This is hilarious. And also makes me a little uneasy about my future.

Anniemal!

2006-05-16T15:21:00.000-07:00

I just found out that there is a Norwegian dj/pop artist named Annie.

Just Annie.

She sounds kind of airy euro funky. Nothing I'm too into. Something you might hear while shopping for skinny people clothes at Express or something.

But she has an album called "Anniemal". Which makes me kind of jealous that I'm not a Norwegian dj/pop artist myself. Because man. That is one wicked album title.

And look at this canvas bag with my name on it!

I'm a blogging fool today...

2006-05-15T17:22:00.000-07:00

But I thought it was necessary to commemorate my year-since-graduation anniversary.

Wow. That doesn't seem so long ago.

This makes me both really proud of what I've accomplished/endured/gained since then, and also makes me really excited to come home and see so many of the people I miss so much.

Happy first year friends!

And more importantly, congrats to those of you who've graduated this year! Meg, Camillo, Jen and anyone else out there celebrating their new degrees with family, friends, and finger food. Husk on Huskers. I can't wait to see you.

It's a photo share!

2006-05-15T16:59:00.000-07:00

Here's what I've been up to for the last few weekends. Enjoy!

Weekend in Seattle

2006-05-15T16:57:00.000-07:00

"Real gangsta ass niggas don't flex nuts..."

The Spokompton girls represent.
Cheese!
The outsiders.
Some of the JVC Northwest homies. Look how sunny it is in Seattle!

Cinco de Mayo!

2006-05-15T16:56:00.000-07:00

7-layer bean dip and off-brand tequila on $80 a month? Yeah. We young volunteers of America know how to throw a fiesta.

Here's how it went down last weekend in SpokeVegas.

Hey. I dig your paddle.
Martha and Nettie show us what "community" means to them.
Hollar!
Well hello up there!
Drummin' by the fire.
Hi Matthew!
Enjoying a brewski.
Bean dip! Waaa!

And later that weekend...

2006-05-15T16:50:00.000-07:00

We and some 40,000 others ran 7.46 miles in the 30th annual Spokane Bloomsday road race.

It was the funnest exercise I've ever gotten.

Here's some of the gang enjoying post-race refreshments back at La Casa De Romero.

2006-05-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else out there ever get GIANT crushes on the effeminate or homosexual men in their lives?

And I don't mean in that bitter, heterosexual female, all-the-good-ones-are-gay way.

I mean in the I-want-to-make-margaritas-and-watch-a-Real-World-marathon-with-you way.

Yes. I know I've mentioned it before. But Greg, the Reading Specialist from San Francisco, is back in town to observe us. And it's the bright spot in my Monday morning.

I want to have in-depth conversations with him about American Idol and airport bagel shops. And I want to braid his hair.

2006-05-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

I found "Miss Wilkins Sucks" graffitied with crayon on the inside of a fourth-grader's desk today.

I wish I could write "EAT POOP CHILDREN" all over my white board, but that might be inappropriate.

But come on. Using crayons to express your rage against the machine?

Pppfff. Lame.

I mean, if you are going to vandalize something, at least get your hands on some permanent markers or something. Jeeze.

2006-05-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

New favorite catch phrase:

"More straight edge than Kirk Cameron holding a basket of kittens."

I wish I could claim it, but I stole it from a Daily Candy e-mail and thought it was too good to keep to myself.

shocking!

2006-05-12T13:55:00.000-07:00

I just just discovered something about myself that I did not know before.

I. Love. Green. Olives.

I thought I hated them!

No!

I LOVE them!

Thanks veggie tray. You've opened my eyes to a whole new world.

Now. To find a martini bar.

internet users! activate!

2006-05-12T08:15:00.000-07:00

It's just as important as saving the whales!

How poignant. How timely.

2006-05-11T15:20:00.000-07:00

In lieu of recent events, I'd like to share with you my Career Horoscope reading for the day:

"There should be plenty of movement when it comes to your career now, but is it of the upward variety? If you're doing the lateral thing -- or backpedaling -- take matters into your own hands and get moving forward."

Second year of JVC = lateral?

Perhaps.

But perhaps giving them a piece of my mind, telling them what's up, and letting them know they should consider themselves lucky to have me = moving forward.

Either way.

I know I'm more than fine. I'm kick ass. I'm shining.

Ok stars. Boyakasha.

My Debbie Downer Post

2006-05-10T07:55:00.000-07:00

A lot of really cool things have happened since I last blogged:
Camping trips, road races, parties, mice encounters, hugs from children, conversations with friends, amusing quotes from children ("Your pants smell good!"). And I apologize for not brightening this thing up with stories and pictures of my life from the last few weeks. I will eventually. Promise.

But today, I just feel like poop. And there are too many people I want to tell about it. So here goes.

I got a call from Sr. Cathie last night, the woman I interviewed with for the Rose Haven job. After a very long, hard, but necessary conversation, we kind of came to the conclusion that Rose Haven is not the job for me.

Now she kept saying "Don't take this as rejection." And I understand what she means. In all honesty, after hearing more about the clients they serve and the kind of intensity involved in the work, I don't think that's where I belong next year. This year has been extremely trying at times, and what I need most in a job next year, is something with a little stream of hope woven in. I need some positivity and joy mixed in with the challenges. Not that Rose Haven is full of hopelessness. Quite the opposite, I'm sure. But they deal with a lot of grief and a lot of really heavy things. Things that I am not sure I want to handle. Things that Sr. Cathie thinks maybe I shouldn't handle. At least not fresh off of this already difficult year.

So in one way it's like SWEET! Glad I figured that out before I committed a year of my life to it.

The shitty part? The encounter still made me feel like a total piece of crap.

In a subtle way, Sr. Cathie implied that after two phone interviews (which took place in a very public teacher's lounge and a very public school office at the end of the school day, by the way. Not the most ideal phone interviewing environment.) I sounded "distant" from my kids. It sounded like I "hadn't developed any close relationships with them". And that hurt me. Bad.

She kept saying things like "No one here thinks they are better than anyone else. We become very close to our clients here." And I didn't know what to say. I felt like she was telling me I was vain and incapable of developing meaningful relationships with people who are different from me.

She said she was sure that I was "a very smart girl". But to me, it sounded like "you are cold and uncompassionate."

It's really hard to hear someone's impression of you when they don't really know you. It's hard to hear someone else's take on your life and work, when they don't know what makes you tick. They don't know what your job is like, what kind of opportunities and roadblocks are involved. And it left me scrambling to try to prove something. But I was at a loss. Anything I said came out sounding so pathetic.

I've always prided myself on being personal and compassionate. I've always felt like my relationships with people was like my thing.

And I realize that what was actually said and my emotional reaction to what was said are two different things. But some of that stuff, no matter how gently it came out, was really hard to hear. I mean, you can't show someone the core of who you are in a fucking phone interview. It just doesn't work that way.

But the hardest part, is being back at work today, seeing these kids who I do love, and feeling like someone has just told me it isn't good enough.

I know that wasn't her intention.

And I know that the message behind everything she was saying was completely legitimate. Rose Haven is not the best fit for me. She could see that before I could. She knows what goes on there and she knows what I'm looking for in a job, and she realized that they don't match up. I couldn't have known that without her help. I need something a little more life giving than Rose Haven can offer.

But the hard part is having someone tell you that they don't think you should do something...Especially when you yourself feel you are capable of anything. The hard part is you automatically take that crap as a judgment of character. As a judgment of how you are currently doing. Even though you know you shouldn't.

Suddenly, and for the first time, I feel totally inadequate. And I feel like crying.

By the way. I again have no idea what I'm doing next year. Maybe I'll still be doing JVC in Portland, just at another job. But maybe this was God's way of saying "You can get out now, and do something for yourself. That's what you need right now." We'll find out soon enough.

2006-04-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

The third graders have more testing this week. Which means I again get to "supervise" (aka "babysit") half the class during the day. So today, after we finished up our math worksheet, we started watching The Princess Bride.

And oh, how my little heart fluttered.

I totally forgot how dreamy Westley is!

Oh God...
Cary Elwes very well could have been my very first girlhood crush.
Well either Cary Elwes or Rick Moranis. I don't know which came first.

My palms are sweaty all over again.

But a warning to those thinking of googling their own childhood (or current) movie star crushes: Sometimes reality takes the magic away. As would, I'm guessing, seeing the movie Saw.

I have discovered that sometimes, when you search and finally find the filmography profile of that special someone, you may discover some unpleasant truths.

Like country music albums. Or a role as John Paul II. (I don't think you can have a steamy crush on the pope.)

Weight may have fluxuated, aging may have taken it's toll, roles may have taken a dive, and unattractive mustaches may have appeared.

Now don't let this completely deter you. Have fun. But be careful.

You have been warned...

"We were just eating raw bacon in the lighthouse!"

2006-04-24T09:24:00.000-07:00

So last week I sat down to watch a fresh episode of Saturday Night Live. And afterwards, I was restless. I couldn't sleep. My chest felt itchy from the inside. I was pacing my bedroom and laughing to myself.

I'm starting to realize that I've had this feeling fairly consistently for the last five years. I get sort of antsy and excited whenever I watch a good, satisfyingly funny episode of SNL. And sometimes even after watching the not-so-funny ones.

But I don't think it's an allergic reaction to too much television or just some celebrity/pseudo-celebrity obsession. I get a similar feeling when I find a new magazine I like, or when I read David Sedaris, or when Catherine sends me an article from the Onion and I have to stifle my laughter in the teachers' lounge.

I got this feeling when I compulsively rented Arrested Development DVDs last April. And when I compulsively watched Stella Comedy Shorts instead of studying for finals sophomore year.

I get this feeling when I see a t-shirt with Steve Buschemi on it. When I have conversations with my friends. When I go to HyVee with Keith.

I get this feeling when Kyle Korver comes up in conversation. When my brother grows a mustache. When the Bruggemans come over.

Ultimately, creating cool things makes me really happy. Laughing makes me really happy.

And, I'm not certain, but what I think it comes down to is a mix between super fan-dom - an appreciation for things that are funny, cool, engaging, intelligent, creative - and the realization of "I want to do that. Hey. I could do that."

I just don't know where the line of distinction is.

The thing is, the aspiration to write (comedically?) is always there. It excites me and also scares the shit out of me. I just wonder how much longer I can avoid it.

I fear that the longer I wait to pursue it in some form, the more I dabble around in other things that I'm less passionate about, the further away the dream gets until my life starts to fizzle and settle into something doughy and mediocre and half-satisfying. And that is my biggest fear.

In the words of Rob Gordon, WHEN IS THIS GONNA STOP?!

I don't doubt that Portland is going to be amazing. Another year of living the life of a volunteer will totally change me - in a good way. I'm really looking forward to a new environment. I'm looking forward to sharing myself (and my toilet paper) with 7 new people. I'm looking forward to working in a new, engaging job with women and children with a lot of different needs (I accepted the Rose Haven job by the way!) I'm looking forward to the diversity and the stimuli that come with such an amazing city.

It's just that if I fall in love with Portland in the duration of an amazing year, Chicago, or what I eventually want to take place in Chicago, is that much further away. Literally and figuratively. So that's a little scary to me.

And it's not just Chicago. It could be Madison. It could be San Francisco. It could be New York. It could be Sioux Falls! (But probably not Sioux Falls...) It could be a million places. I just know for sure that I could sink my inexperienced little teeth into something in Chicago. And you have to start somewhere.

But maybe my somewhere is somewhere else. Maybe opportunities will present themselves in Portland. Or Lincoln. Or Katmandu.

Jesus.

If there is one thing I've learned about myself this year, it's that I am extremely indecisive. Thank God I'm not a transsexual.

But I am thoroughly excited for whatever happens. And a little less restless than I was last week. Wherever I go, whatever I do, I know I'll find something that makes me happy. I just have to be open to it. But God. I'm ready for good things...

Spring is in the air...

2006-04-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

It's warm outside. The sun stays out past 8. It's spring and I'm feeling a tad nostalgic.

Today, more than anything, I miss the Deweyplex...

I miss my college friends...

I miss having a beer on my porch on a weeknight. I miss staying up until 3 for no apparent reason. I miss DBK materializing in our living room. I miss Monica and Shamille coming over to rehash the previous night's events or to invite us to go get a burritto. I miss sharing a bathroom - drying my hair while one roommate pees, and another one showers. I miss staying in the journalism lab until delerium sets in.

I miss knowing that at any point during my day, I'd be sure to run into a handful of my favorite people on the planet.

Happy High Five Day Y'all. I'm thinking about you.

What's weird is to think that in a year, I might even look back and get nostalgic about this place...

Nothing boosts your ego like a 3rd grade crush.

2006-04-20T13:16:00.000-07:00

All this week and next, the kids are doing buttloads of standardized testing. Which sucks for them, but is great for me. I figure this is God making up for any and all standardized testing I had to endure as a child and adolescent. Because when the kids test, we have hardly ANYTHING to do. And we have needed a break.

So this week, I've been hanging out with the third graders who need supervision while their classmates finish their tests, and it has been nothing short of entertaining. Lots of amusing threats have been thrown back and forth.

"I know who you like!"

"I'll knock you out!"

"You like spongebob?!"

"I'll give you a swirly!"

I also have a notion that one or two of the boys like like me, a role in life I'm not used to. In the middle of helping one kid with a multiplication problem, I was asked if I had a boyfriend. Later that day, a drawing of what faintly resembled a human being made it's way to my desk, with the words "Mr. Wilkins" on top. I guess whoever drew it doesn't mind taking my last name. A true boy of the new millennium.

And as cheesy as it is, it's a much appreciated boost to the ego. The 9-year-old boys finally like me. This, I figure, is God making up for the fact that I never got asked to a dance in high school. Oh the times they are a-changing.

Also, HAPPY 4:20 everybody! Ha. Oh man. My senior year at Pius, we had a track meet at Lincoln High on April 20th, and some rowdy public school girls kept driving by our tent and yelling "FOUR TWENTY!" and honking. It was pretty hilarious. Like yelling "Spring Break!" only a little edgier...or lamer. I don't know which.

2006-04-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

Ok. So I've recently come to the realization that some people don't grow out of being know-it-all A-holes.

This is the first year I've worked full-time with adults, and I guess there had been this assumption that when people grow up, they stop sucking. Not true my friends. Not true.

There is this one person in particular, who, although he is very intelligent, very experienced in his field, very aware of the culture, and overall very helpful, he always comes across as an arogant student council president when he decides to grace you with his wisdom.

It's like he never got over not being cool in high school or something, and has been making up for it with quirky Hawaiin shirts and an ultra serious tone of voice in the teacher's lounge. He's still in his "It's cool to be different" stage, like the guy who wears the powder blue leisure suit to prom, or the prick in your intro to philosophy class who sits in the front row and won't shut the fuck up. But he's got daughters in high school. It's like...get over it.

I guess there are just certain people who feel good telling other people how shit is done. Every piece of advise he's ever given me has come across making me feel like a total idiot. Which, I'm sorry, I'm not.

"You taste like a burger. I don't like you anymore."

2006-04-17T14:49:00.002-07:00

Paul Rudd was on Letterman Friday night. I kind of peed my pants. The whole incident inspired the following list...

A Few More Reasons to Love Paul Rudd:

1.) Paul Rudd is from Overland Park Kansas and makes fun of people who wear Kansas City Chiefs Zubaz Pants.

This has to be one of my top 50 favorite things to make fun of. Ever. And I don't just mean Zubaz in general. I specifically love to make fun of Kansas City Chiefs Zubaz Pants. Like the ones David Wagner had in 5th grade.

2.) Paul Rudd wears skinny pants. Skinny man pants.

3.) Paul Rudd used to work in a ham store where he'd honey glaze his fellow midwesterners' holiday hams. I like to imagine that the place sat in a strip mall, next to a T.J. Cinnamons.

Here we go again...

2006-04-14T16:51:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna start blogging again!

Hooray!

I blog. Therefore I am.

2005-11-07T18:24:00.000-08:00

I've commited to yet, another place to share my innermost feelings with countless strangers...and maybe my mom.

Thanks eblogger.